Wednesday, July 20, 2011

"When I am afraid, I will trust in you." Psalm 56:3

Oli has recently changed her dinnertime prayer to include things like "We don't want any stickers in our food that Mommy fixed" and "Don't let the angels eat this food, if they are hungry there is plenty of food for them in the refrigerator". She asks us to put our heads down and hold hands.......but Sloan and I always cheat because the best part is watching her face as she prays. Such passion and so expressive she is! It's times like these that I have to remember when we're at Chick Fil A and she promptly tells the waitress that she "has a bad hair do". Yikes! Gotta give her credit for being honest though...........the woman's hair do wasn't that great.

Both of my girls are just a joy and a light to our days. I can't imagine life without them and their crazy antics. Last night we went fishing on our place. It was Oli's idea and we ran around the pasture catching grasshoppers to fish with. As soon as I put one on a hook and cast out, I caught a catfish. Much to my surprise, Elise started squealing and clapping and gasping with utter excitement! I thought to myself "She IS my child!" I love to fish, and Sloan would rather 'have a tick in his navel' as he'd say. Of course it was just a wee catfish as all of them in our little over-stocked tank seem to be, but Elise acted as if I had caught a Marlin. Of course that only propelled me to fish more, and every time that little bobber would go under she'd go to panting and gasping, and boy if I stared reeling one in she'd just squeal and clap.

In 2 weeks and 1 day I will have surgery to receive the 'Esteem Hearing Implant'. The closer it nears, the more nervous I get. I pray continually for peace, and remind myself that God is in control. It's not the surgery itself that I'm 'afraid' of........it's the fear of the unknown. All I've ever known for almost 29 years is hearing the way I do. I can't imagine hearing 'normal'. Not only that, but for 6 to 8 weeks while my ear and bones heal, the device is left 'off'. It's hard for me to explain, but only hearing out of one hearing aid makes me absolutely batty. It's disorienting, tiring, and it mentally wears me out. Having to strain more than I already do to hear out of just ONE hearing aid is the biggest part of my worry. Sad isn't it? Here I am getting this WONDERFUL blessing of a surgery, and I'm whining about 6 to 8 weeks of my life. That being said.......if you are reading this, I ask that you'd keep me in your prayers. Surgery is August 4th. Pray for a steady hand for the surgeon. That everything goes smoothly. That I don't have much swelling. That I'll be on the short end of 'healing time'. And last but not least.......pray that they don't 'put any stickers' in my ear :)